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I'm in Chelsea for one whole month! Thanks to Alabama football, I will now start classes 5 days later. THANK YOU SEC CHAMPIONSHIP! The best Christmas present ever. :)

It was strange packing up to leave my dorm. Was I feeling a little...sad? Not sad...just a little sentimental. Crazy, right? Hmm. However, I'm actually going back to Tuscaloosa tomorrow night to see the First Baptist Christmas show and eat dinner downtown with the fam. Minus Britt. :(

We're going to Orlando next weekend. I'm going to live in Wales next year. The latter is written with much hopeful determination! I don't want to get my hopes up though. They get up there so easily!

I'm looking forward to 30 days of family, relaxation, and a whole lot of [pleasure] reading! :)

What a Wonderful Weekend.

This weekend, I came as close to the sublime in nature as I have ever been.

During our quiet time, I walked down a forest path to a small clearing on the banks of the water. It was a brilliant fall morning, not a cloud in the sky and the sunlight still a pale yellow through the trees. The forest was literally a symphony of color, the wind causing hundreds of leaves to spiral toward the earth. I sat on a bed of leaves, the lake before me and a circle of trees around me. The lake was like nothing I'd ever observed: the sun was literally causing the water to sparkle like diamonds, although that comparison is too weak.

A group of geese soared in a V over the forest in front of me, and before my eyes they circled back around and headed my way in silence. They doubled back around and descended over the lake, not more than twenty yards between us. It was so quiet that I could hear the wind under their wings in that moment before they hit the water. They one by one glided onto the surface, causing the diamonds to erupt into showers of sparkling mist. I have never felt so close to the Maker of the Universe, and I thought, This is such a tiny fraction of what He created. It is just so easy to forget what grandeur it holds while we live in the midst of our concrete jungles.

Add to this scene amazing camp food, a mega-relay in a muddy forest clearing (yes, I ruined a whole set of clothes - SO worth it), and learning about the Word of God. Needless to say, I did not want to leave.

It was a great weekend. I hope yours was great too. :]

Now that I have music on my blog, I want to update more.

There is black mold growing in our showerhead.

I love the fact that my roommate and I can make spontaneous trips to Birmingham on a Wednesday night for shopping and eating at the Cheesecake Factory.

First Baptist Retreat is this weekend. I'm sad that I'm missing the party at our house, but I'm really looking forward to getting away to solitude in the country and having some much-needed R&R with my Savior.

That's about it. I have a very important date with my roommates that involves Cheesecake Factory leftovers, hot chocolate, and a certain tv show that I am too embarrassed to speak of. I'm too scared to say it because of the judgment that would surely be poured out because of it's poor intellectual quality.....but you know what....it's VAMPIRE DIARIES. I said it. Make fun of me if you want. I'm happy with my life. :]

I'm dumb.

So I just spent like 30 minutes making a playlist for my blog. I was so excited, and then I went to post it and could NOT figure it out. Unless I'm just being dumb, I'm pretty positive that what blogger is telling me to do is NOT POSSIBLE. Now I'm too tired of staring at a screen to write anything.

But I can't resist. I guess I will write a little bit.

I just want to say that I am so blessed. During my college search, I was so prideful as to blindly believe that I could live even nine hundred miles from my family, and I would be fine. News flash to myself: I am finding that it is hard to live even an hour and a half away from them. I guess God knew me better than I knew myself. I even have Betsy four minutes away, a fact that I have been grateful for many times this semester. I think God has been telling me that I DO need people...I find that sometimes I can't bear my dorm room anymore, that if I spend even twenty minutes alone, I'll suffocate. Never thought I would say that!

I was afraid that I would not make friends. God is showing me that my fears of social awkwardness are all in my head. I am fortunate enough to already have a couple of close friends and older Christian mentors. Again, God knows what I need better than I do. He has positively surrounded me with the Body of Christ, something that I've been longing for but didn't quite know how to achieve.

Conclusion: my Father loves me. And I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it.

A few more thoughts/observations:
At 4:00 pm the Denny chimes play a symphony, I'm talking they chime songs for about twenty minutes. New goal: be on the Quad every day at 4:00.
I used to scoff at the concept of Freshman Fifteen: I scoff no more. It is terrifyingly possible.
Crimson Tide football is an addiction. It's true.
Walking back from Byrd, my friend and I witnessed a potential arrest. Two guys cut across our path, looking behind them and walking really fast. Then, two cop cars with lights blaring pull up next to their two friends who are about twenty feet away from us. The cops jump out and corner them. We walk away quickly. Just another Tuscaloosa night.
I made a 63 on my Biology Lab midterm. Eh.
I want to get married at First Baptist Church Tuscaloosa.

Quote of the week:
""He's probably thinking, 'Oh, snap. Here we go again. Dang, that's a big guy." He was probably thinking a lot of things. I'd be scared of me, too." -Terrence Cody



Hands down the best football moment that I've ever experienced.

Depressed. :(

I know this fails as a blog post. Oh well.

la la la

So my new schedule looks like this:
MWF: Bio lecture 9-9:50, Honors Survey of Southern Values 10-10:50
Tuesdays: Bio lab 9-11:50, Psych (technically) 12:30-1:45, Spanish 2-3:15
Thursdays: Same as Tuesday minus bio lab

So in my honors class we (about 15 of us) sit around this long rectangular table and discuss things. It's pretty interesting. Not exactly life-altering, but interesting nonetheless.

I think I've pinpointed my migraine schedule. That sounds super lame. lol. First, I think I get them after my sleeping pattern gets really thrown off. I got one yesterday, and last week my sleep was less than routine. That would make sense, seeing as how I am almost desperate to fall asleep at the same time each night (10 or 11, I'll admit it). It's like my unconscious knows that if I don't, my brain can't handle it and BAM the migraine hits.

I got my first one when I was about 12 or 13. I was at my great-grandmother's house in Florida, and suddenly in the center of my vision appeared this flashing dot. It scared me silly of course, seeing as how the dot slowly spread into an arc, got bigger, and eventually moved all the way to the right, out of my line of vision. As soon as the weird light was gone, the migraine hit with full-on intensity. I thought I was dying. But now, after a few of these a year, I've pinpointed these occurrences. When the flashing dot appears, I run for the medicine cabinet, darken up the room, and get the ice pack ready. Ice is the only thing that halfway numbs the pain.

I've always thought this was so interesting. I didn't even know these lights happened to other people until I researched it last year. (I know that this makes me super lame, by the way!) It's like my brain is warning me that the migraine is coming. Kind of nice of my brain to do, but I get to lay there in lovely anticipation of the pain.

Can you tell I've decided to major in psychology? lol. Forgive me for the random ramble, I've been wanting to record this self-analysis for awhile. haha.

I AM going to travel around the United Kingdom in the summer of 2010. (Betsy, this is for you!)
:)

Classes, classes, classes....

Biology = Good
Religious Studies = Good
Math = Very very Bad. Dropped class, got refund for book though.

Psychology = Good
Spanish = Good

So overall, things are....Good. :) Leave tonight for BCM retreat. Last night went to Chi Alpha with roommate. It was fun. The Strip at night = kind of sketchy, however. Hm. Why am I writing so disjointedly? Not sure. Guess I'm not in the mood to write a full-on grammatically correct, intellectual thing today.

My roommates are funny.
Bama food = delicious.
This post = ridiculous.
The end.

Solamente nuevo.

Right now I'm writing this at Betsy's apartment, Penny eating something at my feet (dare I see what it is?) Oh, it's just her rawhide bone, or what's left of it anyway. I just got back from walking her around the apartment complex. Got my new laptop this morning. I also got my textbooks, but that I'm not so excited for! Carried all 50 million pounds of them ALL the way back to my dorm room in the million and one degree heat. That was fun. Did I mention how large the Alabama campus is? But I sound like I'm hating college, which is definitely not true. I'm actually having the time of my life. I LOVE college life! I've barely had time to breathe since Saturday. Last night I went to the Baptist Campus Ministries kickoff event. After, of course, getting lost on the way there (we've gotten lost for at least ten minutes on the way to EVERY place we've gone to.) I immediately proceeded to fall in love with everything about the BCM, probably since I've been community-deprived since the middle of July. Really not that long, but it seems like a very long time ago. I met so many lovely people there. :) Afterwards I went to Student Night at the Tuscaloosa Target at 11 pm with some new friends. LOL. That's all I have to say about that!

Classes start tomorrow. :/ My first class, Biology 114, has 273 people. Yowza.

Apparently the side entrance to my dorm (and coincidentally the easiest and fastest way to our apartment) is the decided hangout for anyone needing to smoke, finish their booze, or....relieve themselves. Yeah, someone actually thought it was a good idea to use the stairwell floor as his own personal toilet. I assume (and really really hope) that alcohol was a prime motivator for that piece of genius. Because I really hope that a sober person would never. Ever. Do that.

I think I'll leave this post at that. Just to reassure you guys, I really love college and UA. Gross stairwells and all. :)

bits and pieces

First, go to my aunt's site for her new book:

http://www.karenvausegreen.com

Karen is financing a lot of this book on her own. She knows that she may not make a lot of money, but she really wants children to benefit from this book, regardless of whether or not she makes a profit. So check it out! It really is a great book.

[End blogger advertising]

SO Jake starts high school tomorrow. I'm so nervous for him. I went to the Parent Meeting last night with my mom (haha) since my dad isn't here, and the school seemed pretty nice with pretty friendly people. It's small - last year the graduating class was 150 - but I think for Jake that might be a good thing. Anyway. Pray for him, you praying people who read this.

For me, college in two days! Brittany and I went on an....expedition....into the mysterious forest behind our house. Do you know what we found? I will tell you. A clearing with a huge old satellite dish, sitting in the middle of a field. A big rusty pen of some kind with busted out chairs in it. A washing machine full of...bullet holes. No kidding. A completely rusted over old-model VW Bug. We were too scared to venture any closer to the apparent barn-type thing next to it. This will need further investigation of course....

Time to keep packing for college. Ah!

Floating on...

How to start?

Hmm. I always read back over my old posts and hate them. I sound lame...

So this move has brought some new insights about myself. The last time I moved I was 11. Now I am 18. I find out that I'm still really bad at moving, at starting new places. I guess I've always gotten really attached to houses -- not really the houses themselves, but the fact that they are the centers of my lives in each place, my sanctuaries, my home bases. I can still remember the first painful event in my life, when I moved from the first home I can remember in Tallahassee, Florida when I was seven. We moved to Kentucky - a foreign world to my young eyes. My siblings have always made fun of me for taking relocations the hardest. Upon hearing, two and a half years later, that we were moving to Chicago, my family found me crying my eyes out in my grandparents' closet. I suppose I'm a person who, left to herself, is a little girl who desperately hungers for safety and stability, but who is often forced to leave everything behind. It's been a very painful process, but I guess I'm grateful for it. After all, this world is not my home. But left to myself, I am so desperate to try to make it so.

One new sensation that I feel right now is an identity crisis. I guess that's because of my age this time. That and my whole family will not be here with me. Dad and Brittany in Mississippi, mom and Jake in Birmingham, myself and Betsy in Tuscaloosa. I suppose that's life, though. I've always been such a homebody and family person, so now that my family is not around me, I feel a bit lost. This part is always the worst - the limbo, the time when I am just waiting. Without friends, without a church, driving around a strange place that I know I will someday be ok with. I guess the hard part is that when I come home from college, it will be to a place where I have no memories. I will not have truly lived here. When people ask, "Where are you from?" What will I say....

The move was so abrupt, a fact which I know is partly my fault. I surprised myself this time, by not wishing to say any goodbyes. And I hardly did. I have some friends who are probably a bit peeved with me...but it's almost like I would rather just leave cold-turkey, than face all the goodbyes. I HATE goodbyes. But now I'm sitting here with a massive sense of non-closure.....

College in four days. Man, could God get me out of my comfort zone any more than I have been this summer? Unlikely. Knock on wood.

This may seem like a disconnected, jumbled post. My apologies. I think tomorrow, away from the melancholy of the night, I'll be up to sharing the more lighthearted events that have taken place. Oh yes, get excited people. (And by people I mean whoever is reading this, I surely don't know.)

India...India....India? Hmm..

6:15 wake-up.

I think I'm off that "Man-I'm-going-to-write-every-single-day-and-be-happy-while-doing-so thing". I will fully admit that sometimes (like, RIGHT NOW) I don't feel like writing at all. But I'm actually being self-assertive today.

Nathan talked to us last night about Aid Sudan -- what an awesome project. To me, the neatest part is how the organization tries to train and send primarily Sudanese refugees to Sudan as missionaries. Imagine the significance of these people who fled their country, miraculously made it to the states as refugees, and voluntarily returned back to the country, all for the sake of bringing hope to the people unable to get out! Incredible. Aid Sudan is in the process of constructing radio towers so that the southern Sudanese people, whose indigenous language is not written, can hear the Word of God in their own language. And for $20, a person can supply one individual radio, which can transmit to many people at once. Aid Sudan also works on building and fixing water wells and otherwise trying to help the people become more self-sufficient. I put the link up on the right if anyone's interested in reading more about it. It's a great organization.

Nathan also told me that Mary Margaret's sister, I think? is a veterinarian in Birmingham. Nathan said if I ever want a job or internship, I should email him and he can set it up for me. That was an unexpected blessing! It seems like connections and opportunities are popping up all over the place in Birmingham. We'll see where that goes, but it's nice to know that it's there if God leads me down that path.

Ten un manana buena.
:D

Two days in a row -- a new record.

To Do list for today:

Nothing.

I LOVE IT!

:)

Not that I couldn't be doing something, because I definitely could. Like working out...cleaning my room...emailing some people back...writing thank you notes....

I am so lazy. I'll do it tomorrow.

Wait..what is this?...am I....POSTING a BLOG? :)

So yes, I found myself with nothing to do so I decided to write a little something about my life at this exact moment. Enjoy if you can and want to. :)

I've learned a lot about myself recently. As in, I disappoint myself very easily. In itself, this probably wouldn't be that bad. The problem is what I do AFTER I let myself down. For example, the other day I decided to fast (as in, not eat anything while I earnestly pray to God). I had myself all hyped up, ready to go. I scoffed in my head at a close friend, who said that she had always tried to fast but couldn't do it because of weakness. Well, that's because you're supposed to rely on God to sustain you through your weakness, I thought smugly. Like I was so spiritually savvy? Right. Well, I earnestly prayed all morning. I made it till about noon, and then the first cheesy-delicious square of lasagna I saw somehow found its way into my stomach. I know that this in itself is not some terrible sin that negates all the prayers I have ever uttered. However, me being so ridiculous, it crushed me, and I progressed into a few days of spiritual emptiness. I realized later that this was probably Satan whispering in my head, You can't even fast for God. You worthless little girl, God is disappointed in you. And I dumbly, embarassingly, listened to the lies.

Ridiculous, right? I know I'm ridiculous. I have a lot to learn about following my Savior. But I won't stop following, learning along the way.

In other areas of my life, we just got back from Birmingham where we found a very possible rental house. We will have to get rid of a lot of stuff, but it's really about time. We have way way way too much STUFF. Jesus didn't even have a "place to rest His head", so why do I need a whole closet full of clothes? Yeah, I'm still working on that "storing up treasures in Heaven" part!

Dios le bendiga.
:)

It's so hot outside.....but it feels good on my motorcycle...

My favorite quote of the week - quite a clever way to throw in that you have a motorcyle, don't you think? Haha.

So I figure now is as good a time as any to write this blog's inaugural post. :) In maybe just a month, my life will be changing, changing, changing! I was just getting used to the fact that I'll be leaving home next year for Alabama, and now am hit with the fact that home is changing also. I'm excited, but I'm also nervous for my family, especially Jake having to switch high schools. He hasn't changed schools since 3rd grade, whereas the rest of us were in junior high at the least when we moved last time. But we're all just trusting God's leading, as we have done every time in the past. He hasn't let us down yet. :)

I can't believe I'll be going back to the Dominican Republic in two weeks, this time with Betsy by my side. How God-directed this has all been. You think you know exactly what He's going to do, and then He does something that leaves you speechless. This has been an incredible senior year. If I could list everything that happened and is still happening....

• We elect the first African-american President.
• Recession hits home.
• Swine flu hits around graduation time. (even though it turned out to be a bit overplayed, it was/is still a pandemic)
• We get Penny Lane....if you only knew how this DEAR little dog changed our lives. haha.
• Got in my first car accident...in Jackson, after graduation practice, as everyone in my senior class drove by and gawked. Yeah, that was fun.
• Went out West - a whole week of firsts! Van fights, backseat raves, slimeball motels - what more can you want?
• Dad loses job and we move. It's a bit humbling when something like a recession becomes personal.

I'm sure there are other things that happened, but my sleepy brain can't think of them right now. What am I still doing awake? This is unnatural for me. Betsy will be proud. :)